The ioHann Test

OBJECTIVE:      To find out about ioHann’s lovelife.

I. TRUE OR FALSE: The Cliche Category

1. _______ioHann got hurt a number of times before causing him to push anyone who wants to be part of his life, afraid of getting hurt again.

2._______ioHann got hurt too many times before, he become numb, unable to love

anyone anymore.

3._______ioHann got hurt ten times more than he was ever happy in relationships,

thus never truly having a positive self-developing relationship, thus anticipating the

worst in every potential relationship, thus not wanting to get into a relationship at all.

4._______ ioHann broke down after sacrificing too much for a girl when he finally

realized it was never worth it.

5._______ ioHann got traumatized of how girls had hurt him, caused him psychological disorders, self-distructive tendencies, and alot of major issues, which he never recovered from.

6._______ioHann got hurt / unreciprocated / rejected by the girl he truly wants, thus subconciously hurting all the girls who come to love him.

II. TRUE OR FALSE: The Psychological Category

1._______ioHann suffers from an Emotional form of Masochism which leads him to fall in love with someone (or appear to) then allow the relationship to a downfall just to indulge in the pain because it fires him up to be artistically productive.

2._______ioHann actually has an Introvertive Rage disorder which causes him to hold

immense amot of grudges and anger inside him, usually caused by emotional trauma

and pain, with the ability not to manifest it at all. Although this immense amount of

rage does manifest in physical and emotional Masochism , it never gets relieved.

3._______ioHann doesnt believe in "falling in love" or that Love is an uncontrollable

surge of emotion that just happens to a person, because a girl he once loved used

that exact idea to claim that her falling for another guy wasnt her fault.

4._______ioHann claims that he has never truly fallen in love becuase the mere

thought of "love" floods his mind with agonizing memories.

5._______the only reason ioHann lasted for a long time in any of his relationships in

the past is because he wanted to test how much he can take; how far he can go

trying to be the "ideal" boyfriend to the girl.

6._______ioHann quickly reciprocates (or appears to reciprocate) the feelings of girls who (claim to) fall in love with him hoping that he *might* truly fall in love th
is time, which never proved to really happen… ever.

III. TRUE OR FALSE:  The Selfish Bastard Category:

1._______ioHann’s emotions is actually pathetically shallow and highly almost always

directly proportional to a girl’s physical attributes. he will most likely claim to be feeling "real" love and be more willing to make sacrifices to a girl who fits his physical fetish.

2._______ioHann has developed a subconcious kind of paranoia in getting in

relationships due to his feeling of "being used" by these girls to vent out their selfish

emotions, to feel accepted amidst their selfish issues, to have a shock absorber for

their selfish outbursts, to have someone to pity them and sympathize more than their normal friends would.

3._______ioHann hates the idea of being a Boyfriend when most girls he encounters

expect him to be psychic, know what they want all the time, and understand them.

4._______ioHann likes complicated girls and girls with issues, they always interest him, but he rejects them in the end when he realizes that he cant afford to be the

constantly adjusting variable in the relationship. 5._______ioHann has been manipulated into relationships so many times, he developed a skill of manipulating situations / people to get out of relationships.

6._______ioHann cynicism is more dangerous and solid than any of his psychological

issues. He pretends to *hope* for a real constructive and self-developing relationship

that would make him a better person, but is convinced that it doesnt exist. Voicing out his *hopes* just makes him seem like he’s not giving up, but in reality he really doesnt care.

[BONUS QUESTIONS for extra points]. TRUE OR FALSE: The Impotent Bastard

1._______ioHann has an uncanny skill of extracting a girl of her most intimate secrets, usually of sexual nature. He claims to do it for fun, but in reality it’s his form of Power tripping and being in Marx’s upper hand.

2._______ioHann claims that he would willingly provide physical / sexual "favors" to

anyone he considers a "close friend" of the opposite sex rather than a one night stand with a hot stranger, as long as they ask of it. 

3._______The statement in Number 2 may pose him to be either "open minded" or

"perverted", but in reality it’s another one of his power-struggle/tripping /

ethnomethodogical social experiments on people, because a "friend" who would

actually ask for such would be a psychologically interesting norm-breaker.

4._______ioHann’s usually uses his "skills" (SEE #1) on conservative-type girls, getting them to confess their naughty little secrets, not for his own fantasies, but usually to constantly prove Freudian theories of the "id".

5._______at a certain level of intimacy with ioHann, he would claim that he’s

"impotent" and talk about how tragic it is, and that he misses the good old

testosterone-driven days. It is a sign that he no longer is interested on "extracting" or conducting psycho-sexual / power tripping / marxist / freudian experiments on you.

6._______Poetry seduces ioHann more than anything else.  But he claims only very

few could write good enough to have such an effect on him, and when it does, it lasts for a loooooooong time.